Miss Vincent
by The Artistic Vampire
Summary: When Aeris and Tifa are bored watch out! The girls put on a competition: A drag contest between the guys, whoever wins gets 10 thousand gil!!...So sit back, grab a cup of coffee and enjoy!


Vincent: Something's wrong.  
  
Barret: What you talkin' 'bout, mutha?  
  
Vincent: Did you just call me a-  
  
Barret: Yeah I did, foo, got a problem wit that? It's ghetto talk man.  
  
Vincent: * Glare *  
  
Barret: B****  
  
Vincent: Wha?!  
  
~  
  
Aeris: * Whines * I'm BORED.Isn't there anything fun we can do around here? * Whispers something in Tifa's ear *  
  
Tifa: Let's play truth or dare!  
  
Soon the whole gang was gathered around the living room and Tifa and Aeris had a big box out with identical evil grins on their faces.  
  
Aeris: Okay, for gil..We dare the guys to dress up in drag! We'll give the guys half an hour to get ready and get what they must from this box! We'll give the winner 10,000 gil!!! At the end of half an hour Yuffie, Tifa and I will judge, who's best!  
  
Cloud: Been there, done that! But sometimes I like to dress up in drag just for fun!  
  
Vincent: I will..When Hades freezes over.*Walks away*  
  
Sephiroth: I really need the money.*Dives in the box*  
  
Cid: ..No &*^$%&@ way  
  
Barret: What's a matta, foo'? Be a man and do it!  
  
Cid: I won't even begin to tell you how many things are ^&%$*#$ wrong with that sentence. But whatever, I need the money for smokes. *Walks over to the box and starts pulling items out randomly*  
  
Barret: Hey!!! *Whispers something in Cid's ear. They both grin nastily and start pulling out extra stuff *  
  
Barret and Cid disappear and soon there are shouts and banging noises. Sephiroth picked out a dress, makeup and some other items. Fearing that he had dented his bad guy image enough for one day he left out the pantyhose and sauntered toward his room. From somewhere down the hall there was another shriek.  
  
Anonymous Voice: SOMEONE HELP ME!!! FOR ALL THAT IS GOOD IN THE WORLD HELP!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Another Anonymous Voice: NO ONE CAN SAVE YOU NOW!!! HA HA HA!!  
  
~  
  
The half an hour was up and first up was.  
  
Tifa: Ok! I think we'd like to see.*looks at sheet of paper* Sephiroth!  
  
Sephiroth stepped out of the shadows he was frowning heavily and wearing a green dress with thick straps, black eyeliner, brown eye shadow, and purply lipstick. His silver hair was pulled up in two loops by his ears, and he had on looped clip on earrings.  
  
Sephiroth: This is not RIGHT! Do you realize what people would think and say if they saw the megalomaniac who tried to destroy the world and become a god standing here in DRAG?!  
  
While Sephiroth was on the verge of a severe mental breakdown he failed to notice the snickers and camera flashes at the open window. Sephiroth went running back to his room to wipe off the make-up and have s further breakdown.  
  
Tifa: Ermmmmm, okay then.what do you score Yuffie?  
  
Yuffie: *Falls on ground laughing and soon she holds up a paper with 10/10 scribbled on it*  
  
Aeris: Hmmmmmm *Holds up 7/10*  
  
Tifa: Okay then, I'll have to subtract points because his legs are too manly *Holds up sign, 6/10* Next!  
  
Cloud walked out, he had on the exact outfit that he had at the Wall- Market and he was walking exactly like a girl and had on blue eye shadow. Sephiroth, who had just returned from his bedroom wearing his normal attire, pointed and laughed at Cloud.  
  
Sephiroth: Wow, and here is the transvestite who saved the world! *Sits down on the couch* Aeris: Okay, Cid you're turn.Gee, Tifa, do you think it's wrong to make the boys suffer and to bribe them just to fill our own sadistic boredness?  
  
Tifa: Nope!  
  
Aeris: *Grins* That's what I thought. Oh yeah, and Cloud doesn't get a score because he enjoyed dressing up..  
  
When Cid finally came out he was wearing a scowl and had a cigarette clenched in his mouth. He was wearing a blue number and a blond wig, his make-up was done horribly and in the worst colors. In other words he looked like a freak show.  
  
Tifa: Urmmmm, Cid, you look kinda.Top-heavy.  
  
Cid: Just trying to be like you Teef.  
  
Cid had to duck as a barrage of houshold items where thrown at him; coke bottles, peroxide, a few daggers, wind chimes and green peppers. He ran off to his room and came back half a minute later in his normal clothes. Although Tifa was still glaring at him, he chose to sit by her.  
  
Yuffie: *Giggle* 10/10  
  
Aerith: Smoke? Scowl? 4/10  
  
Tifa: Grinds Teeth 1/10  
  
Cid: Oh yeah and Tifa, we have one last contestant. *He rushes off and soon three pairs of hands and a gun arm push a dressed up Vincent out onto the stage*  
  
Vincent was wearing a tight black mandarin dress, his hair was done up in two buns and he had black lipstick and black eyeliner on. Around his throat he had a spiky collar and around his head he had a black pair of Hide Goggles. There was suddenly a poof and a wild haired teenager appeared, she had dark pink hair and it was pulled back into two buns at the back of her head.  
  
Azumi: WOW!!! I didn't know I could do that! *Cheshire cat grin* Guess what? I'm the author of this messed up story and *Sees Vincent* 100/10!!!  
  
Yuffie: 10/10, whoa! Vincent!  
  
Aeris: Wow! 10/10  
  
Tifa: 9/10!!!  
  
Vincent: I WIN!!!*Vincent runs off and comes back a moment later back to normal, except that he is still wearing the hide goggles, the spiny collar and make up, he didn't have his cloak on *  
  
Azumi: I have that exact same collar!!!  
  
Sephiroth and Cid: We dressed up for nothing?!  
  
Palmer: Not for nothing! *Holds up camera *  
  
Sephiroth and Cid: DIE!!!  
  
~The end of this twisted comedy.For now.MWAHAHAHAHA!!!~  
  
Authors comments: Okay, if I get some good review then I might write a second chapter.Oh yeah, I got the idea for Vincent's costume from Dir en Grey's Kaoru in one picture, so check them out!!! Did I mention Vincent is the greatest? Well he is.  
  
Disclaimer: Yeah, I know ya'll heard this but FF7 and characters are property of Squaresoft..I wish I owned it but I don't so there.. 


End file.
